Riding the Wave: 10 Empowering Tips to Navigate Chronic Pain Flare-Ups

Living with chronic illness and chronic pain can feel like riding unpredictable waves. When we are experiencing periods of flare-ups, defined as those intense and sudden periods of increased pain, can disrupt even the best-laid plans. Flare-ups can be very challenging to manage as they can last for hours, days or weeks, and can hit without any warning. As flare-ups can be overwhelming to cope with, here are some practical and compassionate ways to manage these moments. This guide includes 10 tips to support you with care and kindness.

1. Be Extra Kind to Yourself

Flare-ups aren’t your fault, and it’s important to treat yourself with compassion during these times. Remind yourself: I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough. Practicing letting go of self-blame and reframing or focusing on meeting your body’s needs in these challenging moments.

2. Flare-Ups are Temporary

When pain feels overwhelming, it can create a sense of helplessness or despair, making it hard to imagine life beyond the current moment. It’s natural to feel this way during intense flare-ups, but it’s important to remind yourself that pain, even when persistent, fluctuates over time.

Take a moment to pause, breathe deeply, and ground yourself in the present. Use affirmations or gentle reminders, like: This is hard, but it will pass. You might even visualize the pain as a wave—rising and falling, but always temporary. By anchoring yourself in the belief that the pain will subside and treating yourself with compassion, you can make the experience feel a little more manageable, one moment at a time.

3. Keep Pain Management Tools Handy

Keep your heating pads or ice packs close by for quick relief. Preparing to have your pain management tools nearby can provide soothing comfort when you need it most. Pair these pain management tools with small acts of comfort, like sipping warm tea, wrapping yourself in a blanket, or listening to calming music. These actions signal to your body and mind that you’re safe, which can help reduce the emotional weight of the flare-up.

4. Rest Without Guilt

Rest is not something you have to earn, it’s a necessary part of caring for your body during a flare-up. Cozy up with your favorite sweater or blanket and allow yourself the time and space to recover, free of guilt.

5. Create a Calming Environment

Your surroundings can have a significant impact on your mood, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed, in pain or overstimulated. Resting in a quiet, low-light space with supportive pillows to reduce stimulation can help induce more feelings of relaxation in your body. Small touches, like a favourite blanket or a scented candle (depending on your type of flare-up) can also help create a sense of peace.

6. Prioritize and Delegate Tasks

During a flare-up, it’s okay to focus only on the “must-do” tasks and let go of the rest. Asking for help and support from friends, family, or your partner to handle other responsibilities to alleviate the pressure of overdoing it. Asking for help can feel tricky as many of us fear feeling like a burden, but it is important to rely on others to protect our own energy levels.

7. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Engage in calming practices like deep breathing or body scans to help relax your nervous system and reduce the stress that often accompanies chronic pain flare-ups. These techniques work by shifting your body out of the “fight-or-flight” state and into a calmer, more grounded mode, allowing your body to focus on rest and healing.

What Is a Body Scan?
A body scan is a mindfulness practice that involves directing your attention to different parts of your body, one at a time, to notice and release tension. It’s a way to reconnect with your body without judgment and help ease physical and emotional stress. Body scans help bring awareness to areas of your body that may be holding tension due to pain or stress. By consciously relaxing these areas, you can reduce the overall discomfort. Additionally, this practice helps quiet the mind, making it an effective way to manage pain-related stress and anxiety.

8. Distract and Redirect

Distraction can be a powerful tool for managing flare-ups. Try reading your favourite book, binge-watching a comforting TV show, or engaging in a light hobby. Shifting your focus away from the pain, even briefly, can provide some relief.

9. Lean on Your Support Network

Living with chronic pain can feel quite isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Share how you’re feeling with trusted loved ones or connect with a support group. Knowing someone understands what you’re going through can make all the difference.

10. Show Yourself Unconditional Compassion

On days when flare-ups take over, remind yourself that you deserve care and patience just as much as anyone else. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend; offer kind words, soothing comfort, and forgiveness for what you can or can’t do today. Your worth isn't tied to your productivity, and your only task is to focus on healing.

Navigating chronic pain flare-ups is not easy, which makes having coping tools that align with your body’s needs can help you can regain control and find moments of comfort amidst the storm. Above all, reminding yourself to be gentle with yourself and that your pain does not define your worth. Rest, reflect, and reach out when needed. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s always enough!

Written by: Rachael Pogue, Registered Psychotherapist